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Summer Does Not Belong to Klimpaloon
Chapter 1 - From Danville to Home, Klimpaloon's Point of View "Nang nang nang nang..." I said, meaning of course "Klimpaloon wonders why those kids are up so early today" so I decided to walk over there and hide in my usual place to watch them, behind the trash cans. I saw the triangle-headed kid remove a tarp and I saw a huge rocket plane thing. "Naaaaaang!" I said in awe. "Nang Nang Nang Nang Nang Nang Nang Nang Nang Nang Nang!!!!!!!" I said, meaning "Klimpaloon may be able to use this rocket to get back home to the Himalayas!!!" So I headed over and tried to find a place to hide. I looked in the back where there was a small space between the back seats and the end of the plane, just large enough for me to sit comfortably. I waited there and fell asleep. I woke up a few minutes later to a familiar voice singing. "Nang Nang Nang?" Meaning of course "Clay Aiken?" as Clay Aiken started singing I Believe We Can, joined shortly after by another familiar voice, Chaka Khan. Once the song was over, I thought "Klimpaloon believes you can..." Then, the plane started shaking, and I heard someone yelling "WAIT FOR ME!!!" and I saw a rubber band grab on to the tail. "Now, just attach this part here and- AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Another familiar voice, Goldfish Darkskull yelled as he got pulled up by the plane taking off. There was no way he could win! If he stays on, his arms could get pulled off, and if he lets go, he'll plummet to his doom! I thought about it for a moment and decided to help him onto a more sturdy surface. I started crawling onto his rubber band chain, but he freaked out seeing me. I jumped at him yelling "NANG!!!" but he didn't understand. "Well, can you help me out here?" He asked. I grabbed his rubber band chain with my stubby bathing suit arms and pulled him up, just as we landed in Tokyo. I thought, "This doesn't look like the Himalayas..." and Goldfish said "Hey, this is Tokyo!!! Radness! Oh, look, Ferb speaks Japanese~!" "Nang Nang Nang Nang" I said. "Oh, let me get out my English-Klimpaloon dictionary" He said, grabbing a strange looking book out of his backpack. "Hey look! The book has a picture of me! Did I ever get paid for that?" I said in Klimpaleese, translated by Goldfish. "I doubt you did. We should call the publisher!" He said, pulling out his cell phone. "Ugh, stupid T-Mobile not giving me service in Tokyo..." he said angrily. "I guess we'll have to call them when we get back to Danville, eh? Let's go in there and see what the others are up to." He said walking into the room everyone else walked into. I followed soon after, and saw him doing a strange dance. "Hey Klimpaloon, come on over here and CarmellDanse with us!" He said as some song was playing. It went something like this, "Welcome to Tokyo, being glad that you are here" and some other stuff I couldn't quite understand. "No, come on, we have to get back in the plane before they leave without us!!!" Goldfish translated. "Ugh, fine!" He said annoyed as we got in the trunk. "Wow, this is nice for a trunk. And look, a window!!! Huh, almost like they expected someone to sit in here..." he said, pondering Phineas' choice of window placement. And a little while later, as I noticed we were nearing the Himalayas, started messing around with some wires and such, causing the plane to fall and crash right after I heard Candace mention the Klimpaloon not existing. "Hm. I'll show HER who doesn't exist!" I said, then, the plane crashed. I fell out, not far from the plane though. I got up, passed the kids, saying "Nang Nang Nang Nang" meaning "Who doesn't exist now!?" I want past them, back to Goldfish, and I said "Come on! Let's find my family!!!" I said as we headed west. Or was it north? Posssibly south... It was a direction starting with a consonant! Or maybe it was east... Whatever, we headed a direction. "Hey! I know him! He's the nerd!!!" Goldfish said, referring of course to Irving, the Phinatic. "Hey! Hey SOCSN!!!" "My name is NOT SOCSN!!!" The nerd said, pronouncing it 'Socksun' "And, uhh, why are you here, Goldfish?" "It's a long story involving a magical bathing suit, rubber bands, Clay Aiken, believing, and a plane crash. Wanna hear it?" Goldfish asked "Uhh, maybe later..." Irving said confusedly "Why are you here, Sawksun? You stalkin' Phin and Ferb?" Goldfish asked. "No... You see, my story involves Paris, Albert, Rubber Bands, Tokyo, and a bet." Irving explained "I'd love to hear it some time, but I don't, so..." Goldfish explained "Nang nang nang Nang nang nang Nang nang nang Nang nang nang" I said. "Whaaa~?" Irving asked "Ugh, he said... (looks at dictionary) hi." Goldfish said "What IS that thing!?!?!?" Irving asked "A Klimpaloon. He's the magical, old timey bathing -- Y-you know what, Love Handel has a song about him that can explain it much better. If only they were here... WAIT! I have that song on my iPod, and I have my speakers! Yeeeeeeahhhh!!!!!!!!" Goldfish said grabbing his iPod and speakers, playing Ballad of Klimpaloon by Love Handel. He stands in winter, he's striped and frozen He is completely out of style He got no hands, he got no feet A mouth and teeth, but he don't smile He's the magical old-timey bathing suit That lives in the Himalayas They call him Klimpaloon (Klimpaloon) All the shirtless think that he's just a fool Are you on a quest for a swimming pool? Tell me, Klimpaloon (Klimpaloon) Lives in the mountains (oh), the frozen mountains (oh) Unlived, unfriendly, and unmapped He's so short-sleevey (oh), more knit thin-weavy (oh) His lips are really, really chapped He's made out of wool, he's itchy to wear He's got broad stripes and savoir-faire He's out of place almost everywhere Since 1883 He's a costume out of time Both ridiculous and sublime Seems innocuous, but I'm Afraid he's scarin' me He's the magical old-timey bathing suit That lives in the Himalayas They call him Klimpaloon (Klimpaloon) If you're between Tibet and Nepal And you're quiet, you can hear the call Of Klimpaloon: (Klimpaloon) Nang-nang-nang-nang-nang-nang-nang-nang-nang! He stands in winter! "Ah, I get it now... No, I still don't. ANYWAY, I think I'll go now..." Irving said, as he left. "Hey, Goldfish, look! More magical tiny bathing suits in the Himalayas!" I said, pointing to other Klimpaloons "Well, good for you. I think I'll go back to find Phin and Ferb." Goldfish said. "Wait! I don't exactly want to leave just yet..." I yelled. "Well, wanna check out that oddly placed factory then?" Goldfish asked me "Uhh, sure." I said as we headed to Uncle Sabu's rubber factory, right during the last verse of Rubber Bands. Goldfish's eyes widened at the sight of all the rubber bands. He eventually decided to stay a while. I had to convince him to come back out to the Himalayas after he added about 100 rubber bands made with super special density. I went back out only to see a giant snowball heading down and the plane falling down. I walked over to Candace saying "NANG NANG NANG NANG NANG" meaning "I'm sorry for your loss." "YOU'RE NOT HELPING!" she replied, so I backed away saying "Nang nang nang" disappointedly, meaning "I'm sorry." Just then, the plane bounced up, and Candace jumped on. Goldfish used his new and improved rubber band chain to grab onto the plane and the flew away. That's the last I saw of those kids. Ever. I never saw them again. Chapter 2 - From Paris to Home, Goldfish's Point of View "Woah~!" I yelled, wishing Klimpaloon was here. After short while of flying, we crash landed in Paris, France. I fell into the water, and swam up, gasping for breath. "Ugh, can Phineas ever make a decent landing? I tell ya, they should've let Dill pilot it. Well, let's see where we are now. Paris? FRANCE?? The city of LOVE??? Hm... If I only had a love interest..." I rambled, then decided to see the sights. "Rubber Bands, Rubber Balls..." I sung to myself while looking around Paris. "Hm... Well, there's not much to do in Paris alone.." I thought... "But I could always find someone to do stuff with! Hm... Everyone's with their respective love interests, Phineas and Isabella, Ferb and Vanessa, Candace and Jeremy, and Buford and Baljeet, so I need to meet someone new!!!" I said, looking around the city. "Hmm... I doubt I'll meet anyone at this rate... Mightaswell head back to the plane and wait for everyone..." I said sadly, walking back toward the Sunbeater 3000 and sitting in the trunk with my rubber bands securely in my hand. Then, quite a while later, I heard some rumbling. From what I could hear, there was plastic baguettes, the B-Word (Kinda shocking from these guys though), romantic bridges, and Karen Johnson. Really though, ask them what happened, not me. I heard some stuff break, and all of a sudden, I stopped moving. My seat, the trunk, had come off from the plane, along ith everything else. I threw my rubber band chain high and far, hoping to catch on to something. I did. I had caught on to a deserted island's tree. "Albert?" I said, right as I climbed onto the island and saw Irving's brother, also a nerd. "Goldfish? What are you doing here?" He asked me "Oh you know, just hangin around" I said hanging from my rubber band chain.... It was a VERY tall tree. "Ugh. You know puns are the lowest form of wit?" Albert annoyedly told me "Ah, but wit is the highest form of humor!" I countered "Ugh, whatever. Help me get outta here." He said "Hmm..... I don't think so." I said, going through my adventure pack for a way to get off this island. "Bingo!" I said, getting out my bingo set "Umm, why'd you get out a bingo set?" Albert wondered aloud "So I could make this pun, duh." I replied. "So uhh, why you here?" "Long story short: Irving" Albert replied "Ah." I replied to Albert's reply "Why are you here?" Albert wondered "Even longer story longer than your shortening: Phineas, Ferb, and a magical bathing suit." I answered "The Klimpaloon?" Albert asked "Yeah, you heard the Love Handel song?" I asked "No, I read about it at the library" Albert replied "You know that Klimpaloon backwards is the name of a highly addictive drug that-" "I don't wanna hear it!" Albert interrupted "I'm just gonna go over there now... see ya back in Danville..." "See ya!" I said, rummaging once agan through my bag. I saw a familiar-looking hoverjet above me and thought "Perry!!!" so I attatched a magnet to my rubber band chain and threw it toward it. "ZINGER!!!" I said as it hooked on. "Did you hear a thump?" Vanessa asked her father, Dr Doofenshmirtz "Oh, we probably just hit a bird or something." Her father responded. "Doof and Vanessa? Why are they in Perry's hoverjet? Hm, a ride is a ride." I said, climbing up higher. When I got there, I covered Doof's eyes and said "Guess who!!!" "AHH! Oh, umm, is it... Rocko Rama? No no, don't tell me! Is it... William Shatner? No no no, it's Clay Aiken, isn't it! I knew it! Wait, no... Chaka Khan!" Doof guessed "Is that your final answer?" I asked "Dad, it's Goldfish." Vanessa explained "Tis true, I am Goldfish." I responded "Oh, I really thought you were Chaka Khan..." Doof said "Oh well, why are you here?" "I could ask you the same question. But I won't. I was stranded on that island and got my rubber band chain on here so I could hitch a ride witcha." I explained "Uh huh... where can we drop you off?" Doof asked "Umm, oh, right here! Just lower down gently and - AHHHH! WHY'D YOU PUSH ME!?!?" I spazzed out. But not for long, for a Cloud Cuckoolander ALWAYS gets the solution! I grabbed my chain and gently lowered myself into Phin and Ferb's yard, one minute exactly before they arrived. I helped prepare for their arrival and counted down with the Fireside Girls. "One!!!" Phineas said as they skidded down on their FLYING BYCICLES. Once they returned, the biggest musical number ever started! I danced along and sang in the crowd parts!! The Summer Solstice is so far, one of the best days of summer, right up there with fighting my evil twin, that game of truth or dare, and learning to time travel. THE END....OR IS IT???? Category:Fanon Works Category:Works of AgentGoldfish